英語有趣的故事
流浪歌者
[大師] I Didn't Know That I Was So Far Back Already!
A big battle was going on ring the First World War. Guns were firing, and shells and bullets were flying about everywhere. After an hour of this, one of the soldier decided that the fighting was getting too dangerous for him, so he left the front line and began to go away from the battle. After he had walked for an hour, he saw an officer coming towards him. The officer stopped him and said, "Where are you going?"
"I'm trying to get as far away as possible from the battle that's going on behind us, sir." the soldier answered.
"Do you know who I am?" the officer said to him angerly. "I'm your commanding officer."
The soldier was very surprised when he heard this and said, "My God, I didn't know that I was so far back already!"
真沒想到我已經往回跑了這么遠!
第一次世界大戰期間，一場大戰役正在進行。槍炮轟鳴，子彈橫飛。這樣持續了一小時後，有個士兵認為戰斗太危險了，所以他離開前線，開始逃離戰場。走了一個小時後，他看見一個軍官朝他走過來。軍官攔住他，問道：「你到哪兒去？」
「長官，我正盡力躲開身後正在進行的戰斗。」士兵回答說。
「你知道我是誰嗎？」軍官生氣地說：「我是你們的指揮官。」
士兵聽了十分驚訝地說：「天哪，真沒想到我已經往回跑了這么遠!」
Class and Ass
Professor Laurie of Glasgow put his notice on his door: "Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today."
A student, after reading the notice, rubbed out the "c".
Later Professor Laurie came along, and entering into the spirit of the joke, rubbed out the "l".
班和笨驢
格拉斯哥的勞里教授在門上貼了這樣一個通知：「勞里教授今天不見他的班級。」
一個學生讀了通知後，擦掉了字母「c」(lass：姑娘)。
後來勞里教授來了，也想開開玩笑，他擦掉了字母「l」(ass：笨驢)。
B. 英語有趣的小故事有哪些
When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, "When you bow to somebody next time, you can count 'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect.
The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, "Which month did he go away?傑克給人鞠躬，飛快地一點頭，就算完了。大家都怪他不懂禮貌。於是便有好心的人教他說，「下次鞠躬的時候，你就在心裡數：正月、二月、……一直數到十二月為止，然後再直起身來。這樣，禮節就周全了。」第二天，傑克見到他的叔叔，他便如法炮製。這躬鞠得太久，叔叔吃了一驚，趕緊逃開了。傑克抬頭一看，其叔早已不知去向，他便問過路人：「我叔叔幾月走的？」
Fox and cock
One morning a fox sees a cock.He
think,"This is my breakfast.''
He comes up to the cock and says,"I know
you can sing very well.Can you sing for me?''The
cock is glad.He closes his eyes and begins
to sing.The fox sees that and caches him in his mouth and carries him away.
The people in the field see the fox.They cry,"Look,look!The fox is carrying the cock away.''The cock says to the fox,"Mr Fox,do you understand?The people say you are carrying their cock away.Tell them it is yours.Not theirs.''
The fox opens his mouth ang says,"The cock is mine,not yours.''Just then the cock runs away from the fox and flies into the tree.
狐狸和公雞
一天早上，一隻狐狸看到了一隻公雞。他想：這是我的早餐。
他朝公雞走來，對他說：「我知道，你能唱得非常好聽，你能唱給我聽么？」公雞很高興。他閉上眼睛開始唱歌。狐狸看到這些抓住它放到自己的嘴裡走了。
在田地里的人們看到了狐狸。大喊大叫：「看，看！狐狸抓住公雞逃走了。」公雞對狐狸說：「狐狸先生，你能理解么？人們認為你叼走了公雞。告訴他們這是你的，不是他們的。」
狐狸張開她的嘴說：「公雞是我的，不是你們的。」就在那時，。公雞跑到了樹底下。
二選一嘍！！
C. 英語有趣小故事
怎麼這么多人?
有一天,某位下班的朋友晚上回宿舍,在一樓按了電梯.他要上六樓,很幸運地,電梯一下子就來了......他走了進去,裡面空無一人,他走進去電梯馬上就關上了....升啊.....升啊.....到了四樓的時候,電梯突然打開了.有兩個人在外面探頭探腦的,意思想要進來,可不知道為什麼看了看又沒有進來.電梯門又關上了,就在電梯門要關上的時候,我的朋友清楚的聽到他們在說:" *!怎麼這么多人啊!
. How so many people?
One day, someone at work Huiqishe friends in the elevator on the first floor. Him on the sixth floor, very lucky, to immediately lift ...... He left into the inside empty He immediately entered the elevator to the closing or .... ah ... ah ... or to the fourth floor when the elevator suddenly opened. two people outside are constantly, meaning to come , read from time to know why and did not see coming. elevator door is closed, in the elevator door to close the time, my friend clearly heard them say: "*! how so many people ah!
D. 有趣的英語小故事
兩個人念對話，剩下一個人念旁白
Big Head
「 the kids make fun of me」the boy cried to his mother.「They say I have a big head」
「Don't listen to them.」his mother comforted him.「You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes」
「Where's the shopping bag?」
「I haven't got one,use your hat.」
大腦袋
「所有的孩子都拿我開玩笑，」小男孩哭著跟媽媽說：「他們說我長了一個大腦袋。」
「別聽他們的，」他媽媽安慰說：「你的腦袋長得很漂亮。好了，別哭了，去商店買10磅土豆來。」
「購物袋在哪？」
「我沒有購物袋，就用你的帽子吧。」
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
「昨天給你的錢干什麼了？」
「我給了一個可憐的老太婆，」他回答說。 「你真是個好孩子，」媽媽驕傲地說。「再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢？」
「她是個賣糖果的。」
Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父親在哪兒？
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。
「看，」哥哥說，「這些畫多漂亮呀！」
「是啊，」弟弟說道，「可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢？」
哥哥想了會兒，然後解釋道：「很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。
E. 英文的有趣的小故事
樓上的，是that is a question吧~~~
Once there lived a very exact man.One day, when he was walking in the street, an old woman came and asked him,"Excuse me, but where is the nearest bus station?" "The nearest bus station?"the man answered,"you can go across the bridge,and then turn to the right,you will find the station is on your left." "And is the bridge long?" "Very,thirty meters." The old woman thanked him,and went towards the bridge.Suddenly she heard someone running after her."Stop!"the man was shouting"I just remembered,the bridge is forty meters long,if you go thirty metres and turn to the right,as I told you to do,you will fall in to the river!"
這是一個最簡單的小故事了~~
F. 有趣英語小故事
0 to 200 in 6 seconds
Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really angery.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife went out and brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
從0到200
故事大體意思：Bob忘了他和妻子的結婚紀念日，妻子很生氣，讓他明天准備一個禮物，並放在車道上，這個禮物要在6秒能從0變化到200.第二天早上，Bob很早就上班了，然後他妻子起床後發現車道上的確有個禮物盒，她把它拿進屋然後打開，發現是個體重秤。Bob自從周5就失蹤了。
Only three doors
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
只有3扇門
大體意思是：一個飛機機長今天看到，在他這般飛機上有個新來的一個金發碧眼的美麗空姐。這班飛機中途要停一站，他對這個空姐很殷勤，帶她去了當地最好的機務人員住所。第二天早晨，機長發現這個空姐失蹤了，然後他就打旅館電話問怎麼回事，空姐哭哭啼啼的接了電話說：「我出不去了！這只有3扇門。第一個門是衛生間，第二個門是衣櫃，第三個門上有個牌子貼著'請勿打擾』。」
A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'
這里想對將要退休者提一點忠告。如果你只有65歲的話，千萬別進退休社區。因為那裡人人都七八十歲或者八九十歲了。每當要搬東西，抬東西或者裝東西時，他們就叫喊，「讓小的干吧。」
Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?
Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.
Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.
媽媽：弗雷迪，你的臉為什麼那麼紅？
弗雷迪：我剛才在大街上跑，為的是阻止一次打架？
媽媽：你做的對，誰和誰在打架。
弗雷迪：我和傑克·史密斯。