英语有趣的故事
流浪歌者
[大师] I Didn't Know That I Was So Far Back Already!
A big battle was going on ring the First World War. Guns were firing, and shells and bullets were flying about everywhere. After an hour of this, one of the soldier decided that the fighting was getting too dangerous for him, so he left the front line and began to go away from the battle. After he had walked for an hour, he saw an officer coming towards him. The officer stopped him and said, "Where are you going?"
"I'm trying to get as far away as possible from the battle that's going on behind us, sir." the soldier answered.
"Do you know who I am?" the officer said to him angerly. "I'm your commanding officer."
The soldier was very surprised when he heard this and said, "My God, I didn't know that I was so far back already!"
真没想到我已经往回跑了这么远!
第一次世界大战期间，一场大战役正在进行。枪炮轰鸣，子弹横飞。这样持续了一小时后，有个士兵认为战斗太危险了，所以他离开前线，开始逃离战场。走了一个小时后，他看见一个军官朝他走过来。军官拦住他，问道：“你到哪儿去？”
“长官，我正尽力躲开身后正在进行的战斗。”士兵回答说。
“你知道我是谁吗？”军官生气地说：“我是你们的指挥官。”
士兵听了十分惊讶地说：“天哪，真没想到我已经往回跑了这么远!”
Class and Ass
Professor Laurie of Glasgow put his notice on his door: "Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today."
A student, after reading the notice, rubbed out the "c".
Later Professor Laurie came along, and entering into the spirit of the joke, rubbed out the "l".
班和笨驴
格拉斯哥的劳里教授在门上贴了这样一个通知：“劳里教授今天不见他的班级。”
一个学生读了通知后，擦掉了字母“c”(lass：姑娘)。
后来劳里教授来了，也想开开玩笑，他擦掉了字母“l”(ass：笨驴)。
B. 英语有趣的小故事有哪些
When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, "When you bow to somebody next time, you can count 'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect.
The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, "Which month did he go away?杰克给人鞠躬，飞快地一点头，就算完了。大家都怪他不懂礼貌。于是便有好心的人教他说，“下次鞠躬的时候，你就在心里数：正月、二月、……一直数到十二月为止，然后再直起身来。这样，礼节就周全了。”第二天，杰克见到他的叔叔，他便如法炮制。这躬鞠得太久，叔叔吃了一惊，赶紧逃开了。杰克抬头一看，其叔早已不知去向，他便问过路人：“我叔叔几月走的？”
Fox and cock
One morning a fox sees a cock.He
think,"This is my breakfast.''
He comes up to the cock and says,"I know
you can sing very well.Can you sing for me?''The
cock is glad.He closes his eyes and begins
to sing.The fox sees that and caches him in his mouth and carries him away.
The people in the field see the fox.They cry,"Look,look!The fox is carrying the cock away.''The cock says to the fox,"Mr Fox,do you understand?The people say you are carrying their cock away.Tell them it is yours.Not theirs.''
The fox opens his mouth ang says,"The cock is mine,not yours.''Just then the cock runs away from the fox and flies into the tree.
狐狸和公鸡
一天早上，一只狐狸看到了一只公鸡。他想：这是我的早餐。
他朝公鸡走来，对他说：“我知道，你能唱得非常好听，你能唱给我听么？”公鸡很高兴。他闭上眼睛开始唱歌。狐狸看到这些抓住它放到自己的嘴里走了。
在田地里的人们看到了狐狸。大喊大叫：“看，看！狐狸抓住公鸡逃走了。”公鸡对狐狸说：“狐狸先生，你能理解么？人们认为你叼走了公鸡。告诉他们这是你的，不是他们的。”
狐狸张开她的嘴说：“公鸡是我的，不是你们的。”就在那时，。公鸡跑到了树底下。
二选一喽！！
C. 英语有趣小故事
怎么这么多人?
有一天,某位下班的朋友晚上回宿舍,在一楼按了电梯.他要上六楼,很幸运地,电梯一下子就来了......他走了进去,里面空无一人,他走进去电梯马上就关上了....升啊.....升啊.....到了四楼的时候,电梯突然打开了.有两个人在外面探头探脑的,意思想要进来,可不知道为什么看了看又没有进来.电梯门又关上了,就在电梯门要关上的时候,我的朋友清楚的听到他们在说:" *!怎么这么多人啊!
. How so many people?
One day, someone at work Huiqishe friends in the elevator on the first floor. Him on the sixth floor, very lucky, to immediately lift ...... He left into the inside empty He immediately entered the elevator to the closing or .... ah ... ah ... or to the fourth floor when the elevator suddenly opened. two people outside are constantly, meaning to come , read from time to know why and did not see coming. elevator door is closed, in the elevator door to close the time, my friend clearly heard them say: "*! how so many people ah!
D. 有趣的英语小故事
两个人念对话，剩下一个人念旁白
Big Head
“ the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head”
“Don't listen to them.”his mother comforted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes”
“Where's the shopping bag?”
“I haven't got one,use your hat.”
大脑袋
“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”
“别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说：“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了，去商店买10磅土豆来。”
“购物袋在哪？”
“我没有购物袋，就用你的帽子吧。”
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父亲在哪儿？
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”
哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。
E. 英文的有趣的小故事
楼上的，是that is a question吧~~~
Once there lived a very exact man.One day, when he was walking in the street, an old woman came and asked him,"Excuse me, but where is the nearest bus station?" "The nearest bus station?"the man answered,"you can go across the bridge,and then turn to the right,you will find the station is on your left." "And is the bridge long?" "Very,thirty meters." The old woman thanked him,and went towards the bridge.Suddenly she heard someone running after her."Stop!"the man was shouting"I just remembered,the bridge is forty meters long,if you go thirty metres and turn to the right,as I told you to do,you will fall in to the river!"
这是一个最简单的小故事了~~
F. 有趣英语小故事
0 to 200 in 6 seconds
Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really angery.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife went out and brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
从0到200
故事大体意思：Bob忘了他和妻子的结婚纪念日，妻子很生气，让他明天准备一个礼物，并放在车道上，这个礼物要在6秒能从0变化到200.第二天早上，Bob很早就上班了，然后他妻子起床后发现车道上的确有个礼物盒，她把它拿进屋然后打开，发现是个体重秤。Bob自从周5就失踪了。
Only three doors
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
只有3扇门
大体意思是：一个飞机机长今天看到，在他这般飞机上有个新来的一个金发碧眼的美丽空姐。这班飞机中途要停一站，他对这个空姐很殷勤，带她去了当地最好的机务人员住所。第二天早晨，机长发现这个空姐失踪了，然后他就打旅馆电话问怎么回事，空姐哭哭啼啼的接了电话说：“我出不去了！这只有3扇门。第一个门是卫生间，第二个门是衣柜，第三个门上有个牌子贴着'请勿打扰’。”
A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'
这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”
Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?
Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.
Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.
妈妈：弗雷迪，你的脸为什么那么红？
弗雷迪：我刚才在大街上跑，为的是阻止一次打架？
妈妈：你做的对，谁和谁在打架。
弗雷迪：我和杰克·史密斯。